And... I suppose, I have to start working on my long-promised big essay on child liberation. To limit myself by short texts will not help.
I'm curious, how much have you studied child development?
I've been interested in the cognitive and emotional development of human beings since I can remember. I spent two years in high school specifically studying child development, including observation and face to face interaction. It was an awesome program. I was also intrigued by the physical development as well, so also starting in high school I studied that aspect of human development.
Then in college I took psychology, marriage and family relations, another child development course, anatomy and physiology. I was actually keen on becoming a child psychologist, but ultimately decided against it because I am one of those people who have a tendency to take on other people's problems. I realized I would tear myself apart over the children I couldn't help. Now, with maturity and perspective, I realize I could have concentrated on those I could help. I'm considering going back to school to do just that.
My point is, this area has been an interest of mine for a long time. I've read numerous books, articles, etc. I think I have a pretty good handle on the stages we humans go through as our minds and bodies mature. I'm not an expert, but I've put considerable time into educating myself on the subject, plus I raised two children.
It's absolutely undeniable that children go through increasingly sophisticated cognitive stages as they grow. It's been very well documented what actually happens to children whose stages of development are disrupted by abuse or trauma.
I think most people aren't aware that the human brain doesn't actually achieve adult maturation until the early to mid-twenties. They used to believe the brain lost plasticity, but have since found it does not, and that the maturation process never stops. Ideally we mature until death.
https://www.boundless.com/psycholog...-s-stages-of-cognitive-development-270-12805/
https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/erickson/#.WUQMIoVOmaM
But two of the most important developments are the ability to think abstractly and emotional maturity.
The reason teenagers are so notoriously high in risk taking is that they have limitations to thinking in long term abstractions. They literally lack the physical maturity to fully understand long term consequence. This isn't a flaw, this isn't because of bad parenting, it's an actual physical limitation.
Many teenagers have a hard time thinking on the emotional level of adults. This doesn't mean they do not or cannot feel emotion. It means their understanding of their emotions and
how their actions affect others is underdeveloped. Not non-existent, but immature. They still have a very self-centered view of the world. They are in the beginning stages of broadening this view, that they aren't the only person that matters, but it's still very immature. And we're talking about 16-17 year olds.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/11/071107210133.htm
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2555426/#!po=41.5493
Now imagine a child much younger. Their ability to understand abstract thinking and consequence are highly limited. They do have rudimentary understandings but they are far from mature. This is
why parents act in a protective manner. It's
neglect if they do not. The key to good parenting is allowing a child more and more freedom to make certain decisions as they mature and can better understand the consequences of those decisions.
It so hard to really do any justice to these understandings in a forum post.
The job of parents is to teach their children how to be in the world. Our job is to civilize them. To guide them and provide a safe environment for them to test the world.
I think any parent here that has put their child through drivers education and saw them off on their first solo drive can attest that it's one of the hardest things to do. You are knowingly putting your child in a dangerous situation but you understand that they are mature enough to handle it and that it's part of becoming an adult. However, you don't just throw them the keys and shove them out the door. You teach them. Maybe you take them to an empty parking lot on a Sunday, when traffic is lighter (where I live it is) and you let them slowly get the feel for driving; the right amount pressure on brake and gas pedal, how to turn the wheel without turning too far or too little. You do this in a protective environment to keep them and everyone else on the road safe. As they increase in skill, you increase the danger and the level of risk. But you do it slowly and methodically. You would never dream of throwing them the keys and telling them to go do 100 mph on the highway.
Cognitive development is the same. You teach them, guide them slowly on how to be in the world. You teach them to understand their own limitations, when to ask for help and when to have faith in their own abilities.
Humans are incredibly complicated creatures, which is why it takes nearly two decades before we are able to go out and navigate this world.
And I hear people reference back to historical people, how teenagers were once bearing children, etc. Well, I think it can definitely be argued that the difference between that world and ours is vast.
Today's world
is more complicated in many ways. It's naturally going to take longer to prepare to take it all on.
And I don't think it really needs to be said, but, I don't think pointing to how old cultures married off 8 year old girls and were perfectly fine (were they?) is really a comparison we want to make. What is the point of scientific inquiry if we are just going to throw that out and relegate our societal procedures to appeal to a time when less was understood?
As for the supposed evidence that children aren't harmed by sexual relationships until "society tells them it's wrong". NO. This is NOT TRUE. What I see referenced are various works by researchers and psychologists themselves. However, often the conclusions of these studies are misinterpreted by pedophile advocacy groups. What they miss (likely intentionally) is that what happens when abuse victims mature and gain the cognitive ability to fully understand and assess the situation they were in, they do suffer. They understand that they were manipulated and taken advantage of; that they trusted these individuals and were betrayed by them. Many often suffer from PTSD and part of their therapy is coming to terms with what happened to them, so that they can process the experience with an adult mind and alleviate their suffering.
While it may be true that some suffer greatly and others not so much, that doesn't take into account the severity of the abuse, confounding factors, family support (or lack thereof) and any co-morbidities, which are quite common in abuse sufferers. You also have to take into account that in often severe cases, victims have memory suppression and can develop dissociative disorders. Many suffer from co-morbid psychological states that they don't understand as being tied to their abuse. Another factor is the personal resiliency of the victim. Some people are just psychologically stronger than others.
The fact is, some people are more harmed by their experience than others. This doesn't mean that harm isn't done. Can a child live if you cut off an arm? Can they go on to lead successful, happy lives? Absolutely. Will some see the experience as more traumatic, hence their success and happiness in life will be drastically more affected? Also yes. It depends on the person, but I think we could all agree that two arms are better than one, and cutting off a child's harm would bring some level of harm, even if some children are better able to cope than others.
Do not mistake the resiliency of the human mind with the absence of harm.