I have only used marijuana a very few times, and since I don't smoke, I used it in cakes, where the effect lasts longer.
I wasn't super keen on the effect, and the last time it made me vomit, but I was aware of strange other-worldly sensation for about an hour. I can well believe that it is a gateway to ψ phenomena, but I agree with you that it is potentially very dangerous.
The effect of marijuana when ingested via eating it, baking it into cakes, cookies, and/or tea was, for me, completely different than the high I would get from my favorite form of smoking it - using a bong. Any form of smoking it, for me, was my favorite way because of the effect, but the bong was the best of all. The immediate arising of psi type experiences, especially synchronicity, which was never better than that last stretch of time where I began to use in mid-August of 2010 (after using no drugs or alcohol for 5 months straight) and where I only used marijuana... the first 14 or so months were incredible. Never had I experienced such amazing "stuff" related to psi... and then,
it went dark (as I described above).
I don't know if you want to talk about your father's suicide, but if that is OK, I wonder if he said anything before this happened to explain why he was disturbed enough to kill himself?
David
The story is complicated. In addition, I went through years of an interesting investigation based on a theory that my Dad was involved in the Kennedy assassination. I won't share the current conclusions of that investigation right now.
My Dad left no note. My Dad's wife (my step-mother, Ginger) had died on March 15th, 1979 (the Ides of March) at age 40 from pancreatic cancer. They had been married 13 years and I believe he deeply loved her. On June 26, 1979 my Dad committed suicide (3 months and 11 days after Ginger died). There was no note... at least no note I was allowed to see. Many years later, my step-brother, the only child of my Dad and Step-Mom told me he was told there was a note but no one that should have known that ever validated his claim. My step-brother was 1 1/2 years old when both his Mom and his Dad were dead. He was raised by his maternal grand mother who lived in California.
When my Step-Mom died, there were all sorts of powerful pain drugs she had never taken (she refused the medication). It was those pills that my Dad used to commit suicide. We were told he had taken about 25 each of five different kinds of these pain drugs. I remember one was morphine, another was something called Dilaudid... I may have been the last person he spoke with or my sister. He called us just before noon that day and told each of us "a story" that he had to leave town "to get some money" for some bookie he owed. I begged him to let me go with him (because I knew something was wrong). He lied to me and told me he had hired an armed security guard and a private plane to go to Louisiana to get the money (we lived in Dallas at this time but many years before had lived in Lafayette, Louisiana... and he had bragged in the past he had "done a favor for
Carlos Marcello," and I bought his lie thinking he was tapping some old connections for a street loan.
He promised me he would call on Wednesday evening and if not, would be home sometime Thursday. When I got no call Wednesday, and because my intuition was already on high alert (note, I was 21 years old at the time), when he didn't show by the afternoon on Thursday, I called the family lawyer (who was more like a family friend) and he said that if Dad didn't show up by the end of the evening, call him in the morning. Dad was a no show and so I called him and he said he'd go to my Dad's office/apartment at lunch to see if he could try and get some information somehow.
He found my Dad dead... saw him hunched over at his desk when he peered through a non-curtained sliding glass door, rushed to the manager's office, and they went in to discover the sad reality. Rust (his name) told me that he had been clearly dead for days. Thus we are pretty certain he did the deed just after he spoke with my sister and I, three days earlier.
About ten years after his death, I got my first clue there may have been more to the story... but this is all I am able to share for now.