tarantulanebula
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My experience is that sometimes you plan an idea and speak to someone about it, and get a totally unexpected response -sometimes positive, and sometimes negative.I received a mental slap on my face. To my surprise they didn't show any interest of offering any help. Fine, I didn't feel I was worthy or I deserved their help, I just made an attempt since I thought that wouldn't offend them. I still am unable to fathom why they even angered at me, blaming me on that I didn't fit into my stupidly made choice on my career. That gave me a very traumatic experience that I feel that my cousin seemed not very real, they do not love me. I do not hate them, I never trouble them since then. But I think it's another example of the topic: what make you feel this world is real and what make you feel not.
Thank you, 7cups require credit card to proceed but I'm a Chinese and I don't know how to use a foreign credit card. T_T
Is it possible that there is extraterrestrial of whatever deity who arranged nice girls to be obsessed by bad men who utilize and discard her, and arranged another man like me to like her in a heart-sore way? It seems strange that I'm not coxing these, I'm controlled and deliberately arranged to meet her and to be in this situation.
Your English is very good. Sometimes it seems almost poetic, that is to say it is enriched rather than bare, but that does actually help to express your meaning.I'm in a severe mood and I can't concentrate on writing (relatively) decent English sentences.
Dear Typoz, please, I wonder whether I have expressed my meaning clearly? In the eyes of English native speakers, is there any part of my writing that is incomprehensible?
I don't care about love or hate, I care about why I like her and why my fate is in this way, I want to know the human mating tapestry map, both past and future. Whether my gene is doomed not able to get the woman that I like the most in my life, and why? Answer me, please, please, whatever higher existences.
It is a feeling which was not generated by me and can't be controlled by me.
The feeling may not be generated by your conscious mind (like a decision), but it is nevertheless your mind. In relation to obsessional love, from the age of 5 to 20 or so I was almost constantly "in love" with one girl after another. (Like the Woody Allen character in Annie Hall, I never had a "latency period"). :)Dear Ian Gordon, by usually means, in my country I can't access youtube, but I will use special means. Just a quick reply.
I like this girl, it is just a feeling that I like her, this feeling is not generated by me, nor can be controlled by me. I like her so much.
It is a feeling which was not generated by me and can't be controlled by me.
Usually, I like a girl, then I can't have her, it is just like my gene is in a disadvantage, this case had happened numerous times in biology evolution history. A male tiger had been defeated by another and lost the mating privilege.
Things are simple like that. All that what I was trying to think more, to think deeper, is just my own way to make myself feel better.
I'm not troubling myself by no reason. Everything started from the fact that this girl turned out to be uniquely special and is the most favorable and much much more favorable to me, than the most beautiful woman in this world.
The feeling is special, it's not like that I imagine her to be perfect. I even like every little defect of hers. I want to know the reason of this feeling. Believe me it is not generated by my conscious mind.
I can generate a thought but not a feeling.
Thank you very very much for the videos and what you said, I will try to watch, perhaps by a VPN.
And I dread her husband will not love her and accompany her in her arduous future. Namely I dread her husband will discard her in some time. So my love to her generated from this stand point, a longing sympathy. In my eyes, her defects are all adorable, far more adorable than the perfect popular star or super attractive celebrities.
I don't want to have romance with her. I want to escort her, help her, make her happy, and I don't want her husband to discard her or treat her badly.
I'm so helpless, I care about her happiness even more than herself.
I love a girl because she is in a disadvantage and perhaps piteous. This is not all a romance. But yeah romance yearning helplessly rose from this. Like my heart is stupidly soft I want to have a story in which I saved a girl in need then she also likes me so she want and need my love.
I don't want to waste my love to someone who is in such an advantage situation where she would find it to be a joke that my love would ever be needed.
I always want to love someone who is in need of them. She doesn't need my love, but she needs my help. A subtle and tormenting case, twisting and sorrowful both to her and to me.