What y’all are calling “Consciousness” is 3 things.

#41
Thing is, some of us may wake up one day and see the situation for what it is. But the years of conditioning can't usually be overcome in one fell swoop. I suspect you're just oscillating increasingly rapidly, but hopefully at some point you'll be able to reconcile the conflicts and find a way to handle life with somewhat more equanimity.
Oscillating is definitely one way to describe it. I really can't emphasize how totally unordinary experience is. I say a sense of awe and astonishment, but those words are just not enough. It is so, so strange it even leaves this residue of whatever the hell it is. Imagine looking into Pandora' box or perhaps the elfin linguistic machinery of the dmt entities would be a better fit for the wake of awe it leaves behind. Still I don't know what to say about it because I am overwhelmed by it's strangeness. And it just is what we take for granted, because it really is just nothing more than what is and is always happening so it is a bizarre realization to the core of me of how remarkable this is. Really weird right? It's funny to me as I am reading it back. Wait what?

Seems it is happening to me more often as well without the means of my usual method.

So no psychedelic's have been involved, but it certainly was made of the same stuff. So maybe just getting by bearings on weird and apparently illusory new ground I think. So yes the same old story. :) Or scary new one, nah! I'm good.
 
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#42
Well you just made my day so.... Man that was that refreshing or what?

Always with the hits is ShaneTheWise.
Ha Ha, brother, for sure! You just put a smile on my face! I am in a deep dive everyday to the Mariana trenches of the soul. I love this forum. This is what a real church is! I have wondered, for years, why is it that life has become so unappealing on a mass level? Certainly, it is the consequence of materialism. Though deeply tarnished, I am trying to do my part to change that a little bit, day by day.
 
#43
Lately I have been having quick flashback types of the experiences from the last. In a moment I am transformed and again just lost for words at how simply astonishing it is that I am here in this moment and I am in this apparent world that is so exquisitely bizarre. And it is like WHOAH ! What the fuck is actually going on here? Can you believe this shit? The sea of vision, the sea of noises, smells and sensations. The feeling of gravity, the beating of my heart! What is this place? It is like I just arrived and it is my first time I have opened my eyes.

It is like time just does a little blipp, I am suddenly displaced or something and I'm confronted with most astounding feeling of absolute awe of just the absurdity of this condition. That I am simply here doing what I am doing without knowing how to do it. That I am actually present in this place, holy shit what is this? This feeling is so powerful, and it is really kind of spooky to tell you the truth. It has a real sort of truman show vibe if you catch my drift.

Then I remember all that conditioning and the same old stuff is just again the same old stuff as it has always been. It is like a cloak of ignorance folds back over the world and obscures this incredible unspoken thing that was just a second ago right there in all it's majestic mystery. It's incredible. It sends chills down my spine when my thoughts get even near these sort of, what I think are subconscious triggers connected to experiences I have had in altered states Then in a flash they are suddenly just back from the depths of the abyss and again right in your face, logical mind be dammed. You don't belong here!

The undescriabale presence of a concept that simply cannot exist in this place. Yet there it is and it will not let you grab it by the tail. What the hell was that? And wow! it happened again.

So insanity is still on the table it seems.
This is one of those times that I have to recognizes that absolute brilliance has been let out of the can! Brother, I know exactly what you are describing and that kind of feeling. This modern idiocy of "business is business and don't take it personal" is the leitmotif driving this world of willful apathy forward. Seemingly, all have willed themselves into a sadomasochistic, psychological meridian knot whereas nobody is ever happy at all. There is the plethora of subservient drones being kicked by equally disturbed middle meanderers, who feel that they must yield the whip to avoid feelings of their own worthlessness. This is turtles all the way up, or all the way down, into infinity. As soon as somebody realizes that their worth is not based upon making others feel guilt, or, on the contrary marinating in one's own regrets, that "thrown lifebuoy" in the ocean of life changes. We are not on a boat in the middle of the fucking ocean whose rudder does not work, with broken sails. Suddenly, it is the lotus flower that we gracefully surf upon!

 
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